A LITTLE HELP FOR OUR FRIENDS PODCAST
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EP. 1: FINDING MEANING IN THE PANDEMIC

COVID-19 and resultant quarantine have led to job loss, separation, boredom, and a whole lot of uncertainty about the future. In this episode, we discuss Dialectical Behavioral Therapy's IMPROVE skills as a way we might help your friends who are suffering from COVID-related anxiety and depression. We end with a focused discussion on meaning, especially through the work of Holocaust-survivor and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl.

Resources:
  • Linehan, M. M. (2014). DBT Skills training handouts and worksheets. Guilford Publications.
  • Frankl, V. E. (1985). Man's search for meaning. Simon and Schuster.
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Ep. 2: Talking about Substance abuse

Some of us have noticed that our roommates, loved ones, or friends have started drinking or using drugs more during COVID-19. Has it become a problem? If so, what do we do? In this episode, we outline the DSM criteria for substance abuse and discuss our own struggles with loved ones who suffered from severe alcoholism. We discuss the importance of boundaries, managing expectations, and self-care. We end with tips for opening a dialogue with friends whose drinking or drug use are beginning to concern us.

Resources:
  • ​https://www.samhsa.gov/
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EP. 3: BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a serious psychiatric illness that can be especially challenging for loved ones suffering from this disorder. In this episode, we share insights from the BPD literature to understand what this disorder is and how it develops in the first place. This episode features a special guest speaker, Dr. Zachary Rosenthal from Duke University who is an expert on treating BPD and will share tips on how loved ones of people with BPD can manage these relationships. 

Resources:
  • ​​Manning, S. Y. (2011). Loving someone with borderline personality disorder: How to keep out-of-control emotions from destroying your relationship. Guilford Press.
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EP. 4: ATTACHED IN THE PANDEMIC 

Quarantining with our romantic partners has been a gift for some of us, a challenge for others. What kinds of relationships have thrived in the pandemic and which ones have suffered? In this episode, we will draw upon attachment theory to discuss how to understand and navigate the unique challenges romantic relationships face during this pandemic. 

Resources:
  • Fruzzetti, A. (2006). The high-conflict couple: A dialectical behavior therapy guide to finding peace, intimacy, and validation. New Harbinger Publications.
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Episode 5: It's time for empathy

In this time of social distancing and national divisions, empathy is needed more than ever. Empathy is the ability to perceive, understand, and react to other people's emotions. In this episode, we talk about the different types of empathy and how lacking empathy in relationships can relate to mental health problems. We share tips from clinical science (e.g. Kibby's dissertation!) about how one can improve the ability to empathize with others.
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Resources:
  • https://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/validation.html
  • https://www.matthieuricard.org/en/blog/posts/empathy-and-the-cultivation-of-compassion
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Episode 6: Understanding trauma

Recent events like the Me Too Movement, Black Lives Matter, and the pandemic have brought awareness to the many faces of trauma and its ripple effects on our lives. Although we may feel compassion for our loved ones who are trauma survivors, it can be a uniquely challenging experience to be close to someone struggling with symptoms of trauma. In this episode, we describe what trauma and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder are and how to spot symptoms in our loved ones. We are also joined by a special guest, Dr. Caitlin Fang, who is both a therapist with expertise in treating trauma and someone with a trauma survivor as a loved one. 
Resources:
  • https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/treatments
  • Van der Kolk, B. A. (2015). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Penguin Books.
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Episode 7: Setting boundaries

Requested by our lovely audience, we delve deeper into the topic of setting boundaries with our loved ones struggling with mental health issues. In the past few episodes, we have emphasized the need to use empathy/validation (check out Episode 5) while setting boundaries to manage these difficult relationships. But how do we even do that? In this episode, we discuss the nuances of setting boundaries and the DEAR MAN skill from Dialectical Behavior Therapy, a framework for asserting your needs.
Resources:
  • https://dbt.tools/interpersonal_effectiveness/dear-man.php
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Episode 8: The web of depression

Depression is one of the most common psychiatric disorders, but it continues to confuse, frustrate, and elude the people around those who suffer from it. In this episode, we talk about how depression is not just a mood, but an illness that affects the way people engage with their goals, relationships, and themselves. Jacqueline shares her personal struggles with depression. We also feature an interview with a special guest, Dr. Tim Strauman, a professor at Duke University who is an expert in depression and treatments for depression. 
Resources:
  • Burns, D. D., & Beck, A. T. (1999). Feeling good: The new mood therapy.
  • Eddington, K. M., Strauman, T. J., Vieth, A. Z., & Kolden, G. G. (2017). Self-system therapy for depression: Therapist guide. Oxford University Press.
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Episode 9: Loving a narcissist

Are you dating someone who simultaneously draws you in yet keeps you at arms length? Thinks the world of him/herself yet crumbles at any criticism?  Puts themselves on display yet hides themselves? You might be with someone who has pathological levels of narcissism. Having an ego and self-esteem is normal and healthy, but some loved ones struggle with them so much that it can be considered Narcissistic Personality Disorder. In this episode, we talk about how pathological narcissism affect romantic relationships and give real-world examples from Jacqueline's dating history. We also feature a very special guest, Dr. Diana Diamond, who is Kibby's clinical supervisor at Weill Cornell/NY Presbyterian hospital and an expert on pathological narcissism.
Resources:
  • Dr. Diana Diamond on narcissism and relationships: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Okqf8G-JWo8
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Episode 10. Coping with loneliness

In this pandemic winter, loneliness has weighed more heavily on all of us this holiday season. In this episode, we discuss coping with feeling lonely, whether it's because of a temporary state of being socially isolated, a recent loss of important relationships, or a more long-standing pattern of disconnection from others. Jacqueline and Kibby talk about their experiences treating chronic loneliness in therapy and share tips on how to reconnect with others in our lives. 

Resources:
  • Cacioppo, J. T., & Patrick, W. (2008). Loneliness: Human nature and the need for social connection. WW Norton & Company.
  • The 36 Questions That Lead to Love: https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/09/style/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html
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Episode 11. Clarifying values

Instead of setting New Years resolutions, we're learning how to live in line with our values for 2021. In this episode, we discuss how we understand "values" in contemporary cognitive behavioral therapies and how to get back in touch with them to live a meaningful life. Kibby helps Jacqueline clarify her values to show how we would approach this topic with our therapy clients.

Check out the worksheets below if you want help clarifying your personal values.
Resources:
  • https://www.actmindfully.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Values_Checklist_-_Russ_Harris.pdf
  • https://positivepsychology.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/Personal-Values-Worksheet.pdf
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Episode 12. Addressing suicide

Many of us have had the terrifying experience of talking with a loved one who is considering suicide and not knowing how to help. Some of us have even lost friends and family to suicide and felt a staggering range of emotions from despair to anger to intense anxiety. Often these reactions leave us feeling guilty and ashamed. Kibby discusses her own recent experience of losing someone to suicide and we read a listener's story of how her brother's suicide affected her family. Finally, we are joined by Harvard Medical School professor Dr. Kate Bentley, a suicide researcher and clinician who gives us actionable advice for helping a friend considering suicide.

Resources:
  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ ): 1-800-723-TALK
  • Crisis text line (https://www.crisistextline.org/ ): 741741
  • American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (afsp.org)
  • SAMHSA (https://www.samhsa.gov/childrens-awareness-day/event/resources-suicide-prevention)
  • Suicide Prevention Resource Center (https://www.sprc.org/
  • ​https://www.nowmattersnow.org/
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Episode 13. Bachelorette's Zac Clark on Addiction recovery

In this special episode, Zac Clark from ABC's "Bachelorette" joins us for an in-depth interview on recovery from alcohol and drug abuse. He shares stories and lessons from his journey through addiction to recovery, especially the important role his loved ones played in this process. He also shares his passion for helping others struggling with addiction through his Release Recovery program and fund raising efforts to support this community.
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​Resources:
  • https://releaserecovery.com/
  • GIVE to the Release Recovery Foundation to support addiction recovery services for underserved communities: https://releaserecoveryfoundation.org/ 
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Episode 14. What is codependency?

How do we know if we're in a codependent relationship? In this episode, we discuss what is codependency and how you can tell if you are in a codependent relationship or in a normal relationship with a healthy amount of dependency. Jacqueline shares a friend's description of her codependent family and we discuss how to identify and remove yourself from such relationships.

​Resources:
  • ​https://positivepsychology.com/wp-content/uploads/Codependency-Questionnaire.pdf
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Episode 15. Psychedelics: The future of mental health treatment

We might think of psychedelics as the inspiration behind Flower power or Steve Jobs' visionary insights, but we would never guess that it would be the promise of new treatments for mental health. In this episode, we talk to Dr. Paul Seli, a cognitive psychologist from Duke University, about the new efforts to understand how psychedelics like psilocybin and LSD can improve depression, anxiety, PTSD and addiction.  We also discuss personal experiences and caveats for taking these drugs.

​Resources:
  • Pollan, M. (2019). How to change your mind: What the new science of psychedelics teaches us about consciousness, dying, addiction, depression, and transcendence. Penguin Books. 
  • Pinchbeck, D. (2003). Breaking open the head: A psychedelic journey into the heart of contemporary shamanism. Crown.
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Episode 16. Living with Social anxiety

Social anxiety is the hidden struggle of being terrified of making a new friend, going on a date, attending a party, or interviewing for a new job. Social interactions are a ubiquitous part of a life, so having a loved one who is anxious of meeting or talking to less familiar people can often be challenging. In this episode, we talk about what social anxiety disorder is and how it is treated with cognitive behavioral therapies. Jacqueline's brother Andrew (founder of Low Country Kettle Potato Chips) also joins us to describe his lifelong struggle with social anxiety and how he has learned to cope with it. 

Resources:
  • Hope, D. A., Heimberg, R. G., & Juster, H. A. (2004). Managing social anxiety: A cognitive-behavioral therapy approach client workbook. Graywind Publications.​
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Episode 17. managing anger

​We often think of anger as a huge problem, making us lose control and destroy our relationships. Although the ways we may express it can be problematic, anger is an important emotion that can protect us. In this episode, we discuss the reasons why we have anger, how anger can cause problems in our relationships, and how we can better manage it. Kibby and Jacqueline share our personal experiences with anger and draw parallels to how it's addressed in therapy.

Resources:
  • Fruzzetti, A. (2006). The high-conflict couple: A dialectical behavior therapy guide to finding peace, intimacy, and validation. New Harbinger Publications.
  • Hanh, T. N. (2002). Anger: Wisdom for cooling the flames. Penguin.​
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Episode 18. Panic attacks and panic disorder

Panic attacks are some of the most intense, frightening emotional experiences and can make everyone involved feel completely helpless. They are overwhelming moments of intense anxiety that can make you feel like you are losing your mind or having a heart attack. In this episode, we discuss what panic attacks and panic disorder are and how to treat them. Dr. Paul Seli, professor of cognitive psychology at Duke University, will join us again to describe his personal experiences with panic disorder and working through it with principles of cognitive behavioral therapy. 

Resources:
  • Barlow, H., & Michelle, G. Mastery of Your Anxiety and Panic Workbook (Treatments that Work) 2000.
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